Friday, January 23, 2015

The good thing though...

The good thing that silence and constantly talking to yourself is nothing but an empty shell of peace and freedom.

Peace from all your misery and I do believe that aside from the enemy outside you should beat yourself first before moving on. That way you can gain full control of yourself. Being not affected and influenced by the outer force, their beliefs and practices.

Freedom from all they hold against your integrity and moral values.

How I might suppose to tell them what had happened to my life and to myself?

How I might suppose to tell them that aside from my physical misery, I also have this emotional fight I have to win before it will completely consume the best of me.

How I might suppose to tell them that I am almost losing, but for the sake of the few who keeps on believing in what I can do I keep on fighting?

How I might suppose to tell them that fear is eating me up? The fear of everything that I might lost and lost further. I am so afraid that all of them will be gone and will never come back.

I have had enough of losing.

How I might suppose to tell them that what I am doing right now is my only way of avoiding hurt and pain? I fear a lot today.

I am creating things that really hurt me so bad  that when the time come of retaliation, just before He will take away someone away from me again, I will not get hurt so bad.

Why I am talking like this? Because it gives me therapy.

It helps me a little to relieve the pain inside. It is better this way than not talking at all because it gives me the chills and creepy feelings of being like a crazy bitch.




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